Opinion

Fast forward to vomit and the other happy memories

by
April 25, 2017

WE SURVIVED our Easter road trip to Mornington Peninsula.

Despite a few hiccups along the way.

The excitement was palpable as we jumped in the car in preparation for the long drive.

However, that died as soon as the words ‘I need to go to the toilet’ sounded 15 minutes out of Echuca.

Followed by ‘I’m hungry’ barely 10 minutes later.

But after a toilet break, search for the misplaced headphones and carefully positioning towels on the windows to keep out the sun, we were off again.

Luckily, the car flashing its lights behind me was not attempting to pull me over for speeding, but was in fact chasing someone ahead of me.

Winning!

Four hours later and we arrived — my eyelids sticky taped to my eyebrows and my body twitching from the 10 coffees I had along the way.

We made ourselves at home in our little cabin complete with a bunk bed much to the girls’ delight – and horror.

Because, honestly, who wants to sleep on the bottom bunk?

After an exhausting argument about who gets to sleep on the top bunk (it took 10 minutes for them to understand they would alternate), it was time for some fresh air and fun.

Now I have to give a free plug to the Enchanted Adventure Garden at Arthur’s Seat.

A nature park filled with spectacular gardens, hedge mazes, a lake, zip lines, treetop obstacle courses and tube slides.

The girls spent an hour tree surfing.

Attached to a harness metres above the ground, it’s a test of skills, balance, strength and co-ordination as they have to navigate through the trees, bridges, walls, nets and swings.

And with nowhere to go but forward, they had to push each other on and help each other overcome challenges.

Which they did.

I was in awe watching them support and encourage each other (as, if I am being honest, this is something of a novelty), and I managed to swallow a few flies my mouth was open so wide.

Next I let out the child within and headed to the tube slides.

I ‘woohoo’d’ as loudly as I could while speedily sailing down the mountain.

Unfortunately you have to lug the bloody tube up the hill again if you want another ride.

But I had buns of steel by the end of it.

The next day was Easter and the girls were delighted to discover the Easter Bunny had left them chocolate delights and eggs hidden around the cabin.

Surprisingly, Mr Bunny had mixed in some dark chocolate eggs with the others and because Ayla wasn’t too keen on them, I happily devoured hers.

I did warn the girls to go easy on the chocolate, but unfortunately they are so strong-willed (read stubborn), like their mother.

So by lunch time, surprise surprise, Ayla was regurgitating her Easter with some genuinely explosive velocity.

After experiencing the chairlift and bushwalking at Arthur’s Seat, we headed to Dromana Beach where we ate fish and chips overlooking the ocean.

Ah, the serenity.

No, not really – I must have been dreaming.

Their food not even digested (heaven only knows how Ayla ate anything), the girls jumped on the spinny cup thingy at the playground and proceeded to spin as fast as they could for the next five minutes.

I warned them it might not be the best thing to do after eating all those greasy chips.

But, well, I’ve told you before.

Maya, pale as a ghost, stumbled off the ride before telling me ‘I don’t feel so good’.

I hate being right all the time. I told her there was no way she was throwing up in the car, so she needed to warn me if she could feel it coming on.

Racing (I mean driving responsibly) through the suburbs, it wasn’t long before I heard the dreaded words ‘it’s coming mummy’.

I pulled over next to a picture perfect home, with a neatly manicured lawn, but before I could

move Maya along to the next not-so-neatly-manicured lawn, she projectile vomited all the fish and chips, the porridge she had for breakfast and I don’t know how many chocolate eggs all over the green lawn.

I feel comfortable with my decision to take off as fast as I could because I’ve heard vomit makes a fantastic fertiliser.

Hopefully next Easter, the girls might heed my warnings.

And get more dark chocolate eggs.

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