Opinion

Terror and technology

by
March 20, 2017

Blake Lively about to get attacked by a great white shark.

SHARKS.

Possibly the most terrifying creatures on this earth.

As well as turbulence (or rather the horrifying mid-air catastrophe it will lead to), sharks (and the violent and painful death I will suffer when one attacks me) are my greatest fear.

I don’t know why. Those vicious looking jaws with their jagged, razor-sharp teeth protruding out of them scare the bejesus out of me.

I can’t even watch shark movies without hiding under a blanket in the scary parts.

Unlike my 10-year-old daughter Ayla, who is now obsessed with them (thanks to her grandmother who thought it would be fun for them to watch The Shallows together).

But now, it’s all she ever wants to watch.

I have banned all horror movies in my house, partly because I don’t want my children to endure nightmares every night but mostly because I can’t handle watching them.

But my daughter assured me The Shallows is not a horror, but a “documentary because sharks are real”.

Nice try. But even if it was, that’s an even better reason not to watch it.

Anyway, after her endless nagging to get me to watch it with her, I agreed on the condition she never freaks out about sharks when we swim at the beach and there are no complaints of ‘shark nightmares’.

So one night just the two of us snuggled in together to watch Blake Lively get attacked time and again from a hungry great white.

I don’t know if it was made better or worse by Ayla preparing me for each attack, but the constant jolts of fear were definitely not good for my heart.

I’m sure I lost a few hours off my life after watching that.

What creeped me out most though was the look on Ayla’s face.

Every time the ominous music started up and the suspense was too much to bear, she would be staring wide-eyed at me – with the biggest grin on her face.

Waiting to see me jump out of my skin.

Which I did. Several times.

The fact she derived such delight from my sheer terror did prove a little disturbing (but I’m trying not to read too much into that).

Anyway, the movie ended and that’s what I hoped would happen with her shark fascination.

Wrong.

Now Ayla has figured out how to use iMovie, it’s all about shark movie trailers.

My photos folder is filled with images of great whites and megalodons (crazy giant prehistoric sharks 18m long).

The trailer for her movie, aptly named Trapped in the Sea, is as scary as it gets.

It’s got all the suspense and visions of sharks with bloody teeth and screaming bikini-clad actresses you would expect to see in a typical shark movie.

And I just love the first line: ‘Mum better not go in the water’.

Trust me, after watching first The Shallows, then my wannabe movie director daughter in action, and knowing all the adult things I know about sharks, my future at the beach will be all sand, sun and absolutely no surf.

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