I MAY have to start buying Tena Lady products.
Because every Monday and Thursday night, I almost wet my pants.
No, I am not watching stand-up comedian Carl Barron imitate a Frenchman, or a YouTube clip of a cat pushing another cat into a pool, I am rehearsing for Monty Python’s Spamalot.
Yes, I am in another musical with Echuca-Moama Theatre Company.
It’s my third show with the group — having been in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang in 2015 and Anything Goes last year.
Anyone who knows me knows I love theatre — musical theatre especially.
I often wish life was like a musical. Wouldn’t it be great to break out into song if you stubbed your toe or went on a blind date?
It would sure solve those uncomfortable silences.
Not that I’m a wonderful singer or anything, but I enjoy singing as well as dancing and generally just entertaining people.
I am a huge Broadway fan and what better stage is there than life itself?
So back to Spamalot.
I had never seen it, so I had no idea what crazy ride I was in for.
It is witty, silly, rude and black. Very black.
Theatre stalwart John Wright is perfect as the proud but dim monarch King Arthur.
And this year his daughter Kellie Wright is joining him on stage — as the mystical diva Lady of the Lake.
The soprano hits every high note on cue and will likely earn her a standing ovation.
King Arthur’s horse and servant Patsy is played by the hilarious Darcy Elliott, who many will know as the comedian ventriloquist.
Darcy is so immersed in his role he splashed out and bought himself a new pair of tap shoes for the part.
In almost every scene Darcy certainly has his hands full … mainly with coconuts.
Then you have Glen McFadden, who gets in touch with his softer side as the “homicidally brave” and very gay Sir Lancelot.
Surprisingly, he makes the transition to ‘pansy’ with panache.
No-one can help but love the witty Gerard Omen and as Sir Robin you’ll get to see his theatrical side and a bit of hip action when he smashes out You Won’t Succeed on Broadway (if you don’t have any Jews).
And then there is Connor Deakin, who is certain to make it to the big screen as an actor or comedian.
He plays Sir Galahad, who used to be just plain Dennis, a humble mud collector who lived with his mother.
And his transformation from lower class peasant to “dashingly handsome” knight is seamless.
Put these misfits together in a shed and that’s my knight’s, whoops, night’s entertainment made.
Oh, and if you’re lucky, you might get to see me kicking up my heels — at times wearing next to nothing (again) — as a Laker Girl.
So let’s hope there are no wardrobe malfunctions this time round.